By: Jenn Stottlemire
“Just moments earlier, me and Millie were fighting.
She didn’t want to be on the leash and I surly didn’t want her peeing on my shoes.
She pulled and jumped and ran in circles around me [literally].
I lunged for her, cursed [just a tad] and gritted my teeth with frustration.
A few moments later, the goal I was working towards was accomplished, which rendered complete defeat for her.
And, a few more minutes later, we were both settled into the arm chair taking a breather from the previous struggle.
She nuzzled into my side; I glanced down, she looked up and it was a full on truce.
Battle over. Moving on to making space for love.
I love when random and unexpected lessons pop up throughout the day.
I can ALWAYS expect them and I can ALWAYS relate them to recovery.
When you are ready to be taught, the lessons will reflect the need.
Forgiveness is not something that comes easy to me; never has.
Forgiving is key to not holding a resentment, connecting with God and staying serene, which is the key to me not needing to pick up a drink or drug today.
I believe that 100%, but it takes action beyond what my selfishness allows from time to time.
I’m stubborn and will delay the deserved forgiveness until I’m ready.
“Have you learned your lesson?” often times plays in my head like a broken record.
A few years of sobriety under my belt, but I have so many things that I still need to work on. Still [ugh].
The list of work is endless, but the journey is plentiful!
I have realized I can still live in sobriety, but look like a heap of defects as long as the work doesn’t stop.
For me, the struggles don’t make me any less sober, they just make me even more human.
Forgiveness. I’m trying people, I really am.
I will think back to this moment where me and this young dalmatian looked each other in the eye after a battle of wills and I truly saw forgiveness from her.
How easy it was for Millie, yet it took her acting first to suck me in before I truly felt the same.
Maybe that’s another defect of mine: easily swayed by puppy dog eyes!? Hey, I will take it!
I want to be forgiven, and have been many times over. I know I have to do the same as well.
I have to dig deep and do the work; take action and release.
I hope to remember to forgive quickly like Millie; forgive easily because, well, it’s easy.
I deserve to give and others deserve to receive.”
Thank you- Jenn
About The Author: Jenn is an emerging young writer, Mother, Wife, and all around amazing women in recovery. She resides in Columbus Ohio with her husband David and wonderful son Jackson. As Jenn always likes to say
“To God Be The Glory!!”