By: Marc McMahon
Yay me! I say that because although I never lost hope I also never thought I would see this many days sober, I really didn’t. But my Higher Power who I proudly call GOD did for me what no treatment program or sobriety group could. He did for me what seemed to be the impossible. Spared after three suicide attempts, 11 psychiatric ward stays, 10 inpatient drug treatment tries ranging from 30-365 days, and 2 years in jail. Can you say rescued because that is exactly what he did for me. Saved from the destructive forces of myself!
Four-hundred and five days ago I would not have a brand new several hundred dollar mountain bikes in my apartment eagerly watching the clock with me as the final minute’s tick by so we can go ride in the mountains. No there was no fun stuff like that back then and to be honest not really before either. This new life, this new happiness is exactly that, all new to me to be quite honest with you all. I am so filled with gratitude on the daily for that.
For this gift of new life in which I have seemingly been waiting a lifetime for. Just simply amazing. You know if you aren’t sure yet let me tell you recovery is as awesome as all the people say that have a little clean time. It really is worth the effort, the fight, the battle. Once you get through to this side holy smokes the view just keeps getting nicer, not worse like when I was using. Speaking of better the time is flying and I must go to the mountains for the day to ride I will finish when I return you all see you tonight.
I Am Back
The mountains were incredible in all of there splendor. The birds serenaded me into the forest. The old growth Cedar Trees lined my path, and the majestic Mckenzie River was my trail to follow next to for the day. A day of fun, excitement, self-reflection and what I think is most important. Some good quality time getting to know myself and this new person I am becoming in recovery. I did this by riding the trail really hard, breaking personal trail goals, patting myself on the back for a workout well done, and finished it with a turkey sandwich and a nap while waiting for the bus to pick me up and take me home. Completely refreshing.
If you have never spent an afternoon laying in an old growth forest contemplating life and all its goodness I suggest you put it on your bucket list. I believe the forest has I don’t know like a mystical goodness that cannot help but fall well on you while there. Like the forest leaves you with a parting gift of inner peace when you leave. Or at least it is that way for me. Then to come home sleep and have today be a mothers day that my Mom can be proud of me on and that has not happened in many, many, years.
You see it is all a gift from this new life. A gift given to me by none other than my recovery. All things that drugs and alcohol steal from our lives, recovery will return and then some. The broken relationships, the job, the joy, it all comes back in recovery after a little time. It is like anything good really it takes hard work and determination to reap the benefits but it is so worth you all. Look what it has done for me in just a year. It has given me my entire life back in that time and it is planning on continuing to get better for me as long as I stay clean, stay connected, and have a higher power of some sort.
It may sound simple because it is but the battle is not. There will be a war to be had between you and your addiction as it does not want to relinquish its reign of terror but know this. You with your recovery are stronger than you in your addiction believe that. You may not feel that way at first but I am a living testament to that statement and will help you in any way I can in your quest, I wish you all the best of times and before I go I would like to wish all the mothers a very happy Mothers day and say thank you for putting up with us I love you :).
About The Author: Marc is a 49-year-old Author, Speaker, and Soldier in a war to loosen the grasp that Substance Abuse has on our society. He is a Father, Son, and friend to all those seeking refuge from this incorrigible disease. Marc resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest where he enjoys, writing, hiking, and kicking the disease of addiction in the teeth, every chance he gets. As Marc always likes to say, “be blessed, my friends!”