By: Marc McMahon
Well, today I have one year clean and sober. I finally reached this milestone, now many more to come. I cannot believe I have been trying this recovery thing for 23 years and the first 22 did not work. I mean talk about hard-headed, oh boy was I ever. You know it just goes to show that persistence pays off. Setting your mind on something and not stopping until you get it no matter how long it takes. No matter how difficult it gets, if we just keep pressing on if it is meant to be it will be! I believe recovery is meant to be for all so it is attainable to all who pursue it as though their very lives depend on it. It will take that type of drive and determination to succeed but I am living proof today that it works.
Nobody says it is going to be easy either so if your new prepare for a fight that once over will yield you happiness like you may have never experienced before. Recovery is truly a gift. My friend from the Way Out Podcast says it takes the gift of desperation to acquire the needed drive to recover but once you get that gift recovery can then begin. It speaks to the same drive and determination I spoke of above.
You know this go around at recovery has been very unique in one specific way from all of the others. All my other attempts at recovery have been really easy and fun, lighthearted and carefree and then relapse. This time has been hard! Depression, weight loss, insomnia, a bi-polar mood mess once the drugs were removed and it has taken the better part of this first year to get that under control. But I also think it is hard for a reason. Hard because this time it is real, this time it is for me, for keeps. You know there is definitely something to be said for appreciating something more if you have to work really hard for it. I find that for one of the few times in my life, in my recovery. To literally give it away, for me to hand it over as a gift to the Demon of relapse, would be a damn travesty that I intend not to let happen :).
Gosh, I am just overwhelmed almost with the desire to keep saying just please keep trying no matter how hard it gets. No matter how many million relapses, no matter if you have isolated yourself from everyone but God just keep trying. And on the God note there. Contrary to many’s belief we cannot really run God’s love away from us. He is always there with his helping hand reaching down to pull us out of our pit and get us clean.
You know I can say that because I know it to be true for a fact! You see the first time I tried committing suicide I should have died. God should have let me die! I wanted to die I thought because God had turned his back on me and I didn’t want to hurt him or my family anymore so I thought I will just put myself out of my literal misery, murder myself if you will. But, the God who I thought left, gave me back my life as I gasped for my last breath and that is no lie! That is one of many, many reasons why I am still here because of him and him alone. OK sorry did mean to get preachy if it’s not your thing but I gotta give him props, credit, where credit does, is all. And I feel better now writing that lol so thank you 🙂
I also would like to say that there are oh so many different ways out their to recover my friends, again contrary to many beliefs. Obviously, there is the always popular 12-step approach but many others as well if you find yourself struggling with that for a length of time like I did. Although I am not an active participant in 12 step program my recovery is grounded in it and I think it is as good a place as any to maybe start definitely most convenient I would say.
But do not think it is mandatory, take me for example. My program consists of service here and on my media sites sharing love and hope. I also exercise with Yoga being an integral part of my recovery and the healing of my mind. It helps so much folks to stretch and do yoga even if not every day you will definitely feel better I think at least that’s my experience. But I don’t attend the meetings like I once did and this time what I am doing is surprisingly with the hand of my higher power working. So no point in fixing it if it ain’t broke as they say. However, you choose to recover just do yourself a favor and Don’t give up before the miracle happens. Stay blessed you all and much love.
About the Author: Marc is a 49-year-old Author, Speaker, and Soldier in a war to loosen the grasp that Substance Abuse has on our society. He is a Father, Son, and friend to all those seeking refuge from this incorrigible disease. Marc resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest where he enjoys, writing, hiking, and kicking the disease of addiction in the teeth, every chance he gets. As Marc always likes to say, “be blessed, my friends!”