Recovering and Discovering Me

By: Marc McMahon

How is everyone today? Hopefully, all is well in your world as it seems to be for me these past forty-eight hours. Life in recovery is bizarre, to say the least, to think that I went through the first half of my life thinking I knew who I was is kind of a creepy feeling. I mean now, especially that I have been clean almost a year I am starting to notice things about me I never have before. I think I am beginning to start to see the real me emerge. Not that who you know me to be is going to change no that is the real me’s heart showing on here for sure.

I mean the me that is comfortable and talkative in social situations. The me who apparently people find kind hearted and easy to talk to as strangers have been talking my ear off lately just out of the blue about real stuff. It is almost as if my H.P. has a bunch of encounters planned for me to show me the person he created me to be, divine appointments if you will. You see when I am out and about I am usually just a smiling, grinning, happy, fella who you see and can’t help grin at because he is.


Then when folks stop and chat I just do what comes naturally and that is what I am finding to be the bizarre part. The way I react and interact with others reminds me of when I was a student counselor in high-school as a peer-support student helper it was great got a lot of free training then. But I had forgotten all about that part of my life but my H.P. is definitely reminding me because that is the man he created me to be. Happy, kind, caring, extra sensitive, but most all a man who loves God who has a heart full of love! Thank-you my Jesus!! Sorry, just personal H.P. preference not even trying to preach but I gotta give him props when I can because he so deserves it. More than I can even give him because he saved my damn LIFE. For that I have given him mine and I have never been happier and that just brought tears to my eyes gosh, tears of smiling joy and I am sitting at Panera Bread writing right now but so far nobody has noticed lol.

My Joy Goes On

I think my new medication is working because things are getting back to something that resembles a normal at least. You see this past week actually has been pretty darn skippy you all. I have been sleeping a bit more than normal, not a lot mind you but 2.5 hours two times a day at some point is better than just the hour and a half or two a day I had been getting this past 6 months. And last night I actually slept a 5-hour stretch at one time.

It was amazing I fell asleep half in and half out of my recliner. Almost like I was going to get up to go to bed but fell asleep in the process of standing up. I was exhausted you all, last night I was so tired I actually prayed to God for sleep very casually though and apparently he granted my prayer. Apparently, he did so rapidly to and just knocked me out right in my chair as I was trying to stand up. I opened my eyes at 1am and looked at my body position and without moving I just started laughing hysterically it was so funny and I was so rested again thank you, my KING!

Lets Wrap This Up

I mean, after all, it is Saturday and I slept, feel great, am actually eating right now and it is going to be a grand day my friends. I am excited today about the possibility of more divine appointments this weekend and in my future. To see more of this new me. To simply be excited to leave my home for the day and venture out with nowhere in particular to go. Just out and about. Just to see what the day has in store for me. Maybe I can make someone smile that wouldn’t have and who knows maybe make a new friend. I made one already and it feels so very good you all to have a friend again. Man, I didn’t realize how much I missed that and again that it was because of my H.P.

I could explain how I know that to be but that’s a whole other piece. Let’s keep this simple, full of joy and see if I can’t get my joy through my words into your day so your day is blessed too. Remember just because it may be raining outside that does not mean the sun cannot still shine in your heart! Have a wonderful weekend everybody and thank you so much for walking this walk with me. I could not do this alone and for that I love you!

About the Author: Marc is a 48-year-old Author, Speaker, and Soldier in a war to loosen the grasp that Substance Abuse has on our society. He is a Father, Son, and friend to all those seeking refuge from this incorrigible disease. Marc resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest where he enjoys, writing, hiking, and kicking the disease of addiction in the teeth, every chance he gets. As Marc always likes to say, “be blessed, my friends!”


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