By: Marc McMahon
My friend asked me the other day how many homeless shelters I have stayed in, in my life do I think? I said wow, then I had to think a minute. All I know is that there had to be 30 or so over the 22 years of my addiction located in four different states but mostly in Seattle. Half of my life was spent homeless in one form or the other. Whether on a friends couch or under a bridge it didn't really matter to me at the time as long as I could get high and keep not caring.
The insanity of it all boggles my mind today. I was asked if I would ever return home to Seattle to visit and my answer was probably not. I am so different today. I mean I would be literally embarrassed to walk those streets again that's how bad I was. Not only that people say I don't even look the same, like some may not even know it was me I changed so much. That is cool but I just got no use for that place anymore and have chosen to Never go back for real. It's a bold decision but its mine and I am happy with it because it helps keep me from what once was and that was all bad.
Things are so different today. It has been almost 3 years since I have stayed in a homeless shelter and almost two of those years have been here in the same apartment. The longest time I have ever rented anywhere, twice as long actually and that was only one time before. I was so lost and I thought I had it all figured out that the scary part. The way the disease lies and manipulates our truths changes our perception of reality and gives us a twisted sense of purpose. Which for many that purpose seems to be to suffer. I am so glad I escaped. Do you know I am having visions of one day getting my drivers license back? Sobriety will do that you know, make things that once seemed impossible, possible again. It's just in the thought stages still but you just watch in time it could very well happen. I have not had my driver's license or driven since 2009 that's insane but so was my Addiction that stole my license as well.
My future looks brighter than it has in a long, long time now and it is all because of my recovery. It is all because I chose to make one decision, to stop using illegal drugs and alcohol and I did that and everything else seems to be following suit. It is obviously not as simple as that sounds but it does not have to be any more difficult than needed either. Just one decision away from changing your life for the better in ways you could never imagine and that I cannot explain but if you take my word for it you may be pleasantly surprised that recovery rocks!
For example, today, when I pull a debit card out of my wallet at the store, guess what? It always has my name on it. Ya, today I don't carry stolen credit cards or someone else's checks. Today, because of that one decision to get clean, because of the recovery that decision brought to me and because of the relationship it allowed me to cultivate with a higher power of my choosing. I am able to function in society not without help but on my own accord, and thank you, mom and aunty, for your outside contributions when I fall short. But you see recovery offers that too.
It puts us in a position to where we can slowly be trusted again. You know people want that don't you, to believe in you, to trust you, to reach out and help you, it is much easier to love someone than hate and all of our haters from our addiction can be brought full circle in time, Or not all, but many just because we start to walk with integrity again. We begin to believe in ourselves again and people see that. There is greatness in everybody just waiting to get out if we give it the chance.
So how about for today if you're still struggling with your addiction maybe today could be the beginning of you becoming great again. Your only one decision away from a life of unimaginable happiness in comparison to what you may know now. A life that's rewarding and meaningful, the life you deserve is waiting for and if you need help taking that step please don't be afraid to ask for help we all need help sometimes especially me :). I love you all have a blessed week and until next time I love you!
About The Author: Marc is a 49-year-old Author, Speaker, and Soldier in a war to loosen the grasp that Substance Abuse has on our society. He is a Father, Son, and friend to all those seeking refuge from this incorrigible disease. Marc resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest where he enjoys, writing, hiking, and kicking the disease of addiction in the teeth, every chance he gets. As Marc always likes to say, “be blessed, my friends!”