BY: Marc McMahon:
I was just thinking this evening about my life before, during, and after my active addiction and a few interesting thoughts came up I thought I might share. Hopefully, unlikely, but hopefully, by sharing a few of the lessons I have learned over the years I can help another avoid making some of the same mistakes. Or at least maybe if nothing else to let someone else know that they are not alone, many have traveled the path we walk, walked, and hope to never walk again.
I always found that reassuring, when just at the right time someone would share an experience that resembled some horrific thing I had done and was beating myself up for. It helped me not feel so alone and helped me to deal with it a little bit better. I mean at least able to hold it together barely because of that understanding. Sharing our story, the things we have learned over the years is important I think for that very reason if nothing else.
It connects us in a way that few others can. It exposes our weakness, it makes us a bit vulnerable to opinion and can be damn scary at first to risk putting yourself out there not knowing if the big kids are going to play nice or not. But; I believe by taking that chance we have thrown a life preserver out into the sea of active addiction. With the hope the current will bring one of us close enough to it to grab a hold. It has the literal power to save lives I have seen it first hand. I have been thanked for helping in doing that here and I just want to say that you can do it to! And, if you ever need a place to share your story let me know and we can do our best, you and I to do that for you, me. and most importantly, all still suffering.
It would seem hypocritical to me to mention how powerful sharing our story is and then not offer to help share stories that fit well here and I have not seen one that I haven’t published here. Although a few poems I have declined to share but thats more me not understanding poetry much vs their poems being bad thats for sure. For some reason poetry can be confusing to me just FYI.
Back to the moral of the story and lesson number two because The Power of Sharing Our Story can be number 1) on the list and this can be two. Recovery taught me regardless of how I feel I am never alone. I am always a phone call, a meeting, an in person or online chat away from finding an understanding ear. But you need to as the old phrase says “be brave enough to pick up the phone and call.” In this day and age it can be done many ways. With cell phones, tablets, and the likes one can access someone virtually anytime night or day. So lets call number two 2) I am never alone regardless of how I feel.
El Numero Tres 3). Recovery has also taught me to believe in myself again. Not 100% mind you, I am still work in progress for sure but way better than before recovery. I learned to believe in myself and still do one day at a time. One accomplished goal at a time. One check mark off the days to do list at a time. One more day clean and sober. All reinforcing the belief that recovery offers of We Do Recover!
Still With Me 🙂
Numero Quatro 4). Recovery has taught me how to feel again! It is not always a pretty site to see but it is a beautiful experience to take part in. It is so weird when you start life out young, caring, sympathetic, loving, untainted by the world. Then you fall prey to the disease of addiction. Take a tour just one if lucky, but usually several. Only to come out a much harder, less caring, loving and very unsympathetic to others plight. Especially if it affected me getting high, how dare they right, sickening.
Then you take this broken version of yourself put it into recovery and eventually begin to come out the other side the softer, gentler, kinder you. But in that process come feelings again, and waves of emotions that make this 49 yr old man cry during a sad news story on the 6 o’clock news its crazy never been like that before. But, I am now lol and you know what? I am simply just ok with it I mean shoot could be worse, much worse.
The Grande Finale
Numero Cinco 5). Recovery has taught me how to love again. What a gift this one is. Recovery showed me that I could not be bitter and happy with the world successfully at the same time. It showed me that I needed to either choose to love the world and its people simply for who they are or hate them for it. It also helped me to weigh the pros and cons and believe me I did because I was done with people, period you all. That is not an exaggeration.
My life showed me a side of myself and humanity that I could have really done without seeing! As far as I was concerned this last time in 2015 the world could go straight to hell and me along with it so no one else could get hurt and God could just start over cause we were a grave mistake! It was serious but love won thank you Jesus!! This is why you all how I am today, this past year and a half. It is all new to me. This loving everyone, wanting to help, this platform that God created for me to write. All you folks who read, this is all brand new each day, a whole new me, totally!
I love it, I learn everyday, I love everyday and I never have to Hate Again!
About the Author: Marc is a 48-year-old Author, Speaker, and Soldier in a war to loosen the grasp that Substance Abuse has on our society. He is a Father, Son, and friend to all those seeking refuge from this incorrigible disease. Marc resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest where he enjoys, writing, hiking, and kicking the disease of addiction in the teeth, every chance he gets. As Marc always likes to say, “be blessed, my friends!”