By: Marc McMahon
I must say you all that I have been overwhelmed with gratitude these past few days. Gratitude that my Higher Power who I choose to call God. You know the one whose son has the initials J.C.? Ya, my super sober, high powered, flames shooting out of his nostrils as he descends down from the Heavens on his White Horse followed by legions of Sober Angel Warriors, coming down on our behalf (those who believe) to kick Satan’s ass for us on the daily. Or at least that is how this Sober Soldier chooses to see it.
If you are going to have a Higher Power with a Son nicknamed “Savior” then he better kick ass I figure and oh boy, my Savior does that and then some. I mean by all rights he spared my life when I had decided it was no-longer worth saving. That by all rights even though I called myself a believer you could not tell by my behavior. No my behavior screamed I believe in nobody but myself and the monster inside of me and I am going to take from all who try and stop me in my pursuit of getting high.
Someone who never gave up on me despite the worst of circumstances always believing I could pull my head out of my ass and become all he created me to be. The best part about it all, he loved me all of the way through the nightmare and chose to take what the “enemy intended for my harm and turned it around for good.” Hence my quest to share my past in hopes it can help someone elses future. I cannot think of too many others that loved me like that or are even capable of that depth of love. One person comes to mind though. Mom’s, Moms have the ability to love their children despite circumstance or outside opinion and that my friends is priceless.
Love Conquers All
You know I think I am a prime example of the above phrase. Think about it a moment. If I cared so little about my own life that I tried to take it on three different occasions. And abused drugs and alcohol for two-plus decades, that fate would have finally said enough is enough already, grant this miserable man his wish and take him out please, so he quits embarrassing himself.
I was such a damn mess in my addiction you all that I could not even kill myself right, that’s pretty messed up. I must say those are three failures I will never regret having, oh my God thank-you so much for seeing in me what I could not. And for tolerating my delusional foul-mouthed rants to you prior to trying those attempts. Check this out you all, I swore at God, then attempted suicide each time after and he saved me anyways. That blows my mind sometimes, and to be straight up honest with you usually brings tears of gratitude to my eyes when I ponder the thought.
Where do I go from here? Up, up, and away!!! To “the land flowing with milk and honey” to walk hand in hand with all those seeking change in one hand and my Higher Powers hand in the other. To uplift, encourage, and love all those who care to receive it. To stay clean and sober another year further boosting my belief that I can actually live the rest of my life happy and substance free.
As the first article of this new-year I wanted to give credit to where credit is due. I try not to boldly discuss my incredible faith in my Jesus much more than the Higher Power thing as not to offend or turn anyone away from me helping with their recovery (if I can) :). But this article, this article is to give thanks to all of you for your unmatched, and truly unbelievable support this past year. But even more importantly I must say;
Thank-you Jesus for being “the same yesterday, today, and forever” I Love You, My King!
About the Author: Marc is a 48-year-old Author, Speaker, and Soldier in a war to loosen the grasp that Substance Abuse has on our society. He is a Father, Son, and friend to all those seeking refuge from this incorrigible disease. Marc resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest where he enjoys, writing, hiking, and kicking the disease of addiction in the teeth, every chance he gets. As Marc always likes to say, “be blessed, my friends!”