Recovery Unsensored Guest #3

By: Jennifer Stottlemire

“It’s Saturday and I’m not feeling the greatest, I’m on the couch resting. Jackson is watching TV; an adult humor cartoon. Don’t judge me kids got a big sense of humor.This episode happens to be about one of the characters having an addiction to energy pills. Jokingly the show goes on, at one point the family has had enough and does an intervention. 

Sketched characters playing out their realities bypassing the emotion, in an attempt for their audience to get a laugh. The character is shipped off to treatment. White walled-straight jacket-hospital looking type with doctors walking around with clipboards and meds in little paper cups.

Jackson looks at me and asks, “hey mom, is that what rehab looks like?” After a quick, “not where I went,” I start to think, my kid knew that I could answer that question. He knows I’m a drug addict. He knows that when I was gone, that’s where I was, for all 9 months. He knows his mom was away in rehab.

Am I surprised? Hurt? Angry? No, No, and no! Sometimes you have a moment with your child where he unknowingly shares the innocence of his childhood that is mixed with the emotions and experiences that you personally have thrust upon them with your addiction. 

It can be a weird moment, awkward to say the least, a punch in your gut kinda feeling at best. He wasn’t sad when he said it, but I know at one time when he spoke, he was. But today, I heard acceptance in his voice. I believe that my kid has had more practice at this than some. I believe that children of alcoholics learn this quickly, I am not sure why they just do.

He’s not the only one with acceptance in his heart today. I accept my past, I accept where I am today, I accept that I can answer those questions because of who I have become. I don’t regret the fact that my kid has questions that I get to answer, even though there was a day when I thought I would never be equipped to answer them. Seems like regret and lack of acceptance have no place in our home, I think that’s pretty cool.

                                                        “Good try devil, but not today.”

About the Author:  Jenn is a family-focused former teacher who just recently made a complete career change by entering the recovery field as a Behavioral Health Technician supervisor for women. Writing is something that she became passionate about through her own recovery from drugs and alcohol; using it as an outlet and tool to cope with the varied emotions and experiences of addiction and recovery. Jenn, her husband David who is also in recovery and son, Jackson live in Columbus, Ohio where they enjoy watching movies, cooking, cheering on the Buckeyes, having an active spiritual life and just enjoying the simple things that they once took for granted. The recovery world is their new world and they welcome all who desire recovery! To God be the glory….