The First Recovery Unsensored Guest Post.
BY: Rose Lockinger
It really is so easy to get bogged down in fear. It is not something that any of us want, but it happens to all of us at one point or another. We want to live life courageously, going out on a limb to pursue our dreams or our deepest wants and desires, but we get stuck in thoughts about what if fail or get caught up in all of the negative possible outcomes of a situation. We think of how other people will perceive our actions or we think who are we to deserve to good things in life and so we hit a wall and fear keeps us paralyzed— keeping us from moving forward, keeping us stuck in a lesser version of ourselves.
Yet as powerful as fear is, it is not enough to truly keep us down. It may keep our movement hindered for a period of time, but in the end, especially for those who are in sobriety, the courage to break free will always come, as long as have faith and the willingness to step out of our comfort zone. You see there is a feeling of bliss that comes with breaking free from addiction and breaking out of the comfort zone. It only happens after though during this process you will definitely experience pain and discomfort.
That is the thing about living a life of courage; it will require you to be uncomfortable from time to time. It will require you to look past the way you currently view yourself, to an unknown place. A place where you are no longer restrained by broken thoughts and memories telling you that you cannot succeed. It will require you to put aside the way that you currently feel and just move forward, regardless of if the direction seems right. It will require you to take the first step, seemingly blind, hoping that your foot will hit earth when it comes back down, and to a person like myself, this can be very difficult.
I like to manage and control my life in a manner where I feel the least amount of discomfort possible. I think we all do this to a certain extent. We don’t want to worry about money, or about our relationships. We don’t want to rock the boat of life too much for fear that it will capsize and all will be lost, but in doing so I have found that I very often miss out on the opportunity to fully experience my life and benefit from all of the wonderful lessons that life has to offer.
For instance, when I made the decision, a little over a year ago, to move back home, a thousand miles away from where I got sober, I was terrified. I was so worried about whether or not I would be able to stay sober, or what my life would look like without my new sober friends, but I went ahead and made the move anyway because in my gut I knew it was the right decision. I knew that going home to be with my children was what was necessary and so I took the leap of faith and moved.
Being home was incredibly uncomfortable at first. There were a lot of emotions that I wasn’t expecting and a lot of issues that came up that threw me for a loop but I continued to press on. Sometimes I seriously questioned whether my decision was the right one, and some days I felt like I just didn’t want to go on, that I wanted to run away back to my comfort zone and give up, but I didn’t. I was given the strength to continue, even though I didn’t know where I was going and now that I am somewhat past the problems that I initially faced, I am glad that I didn’t give up. I feel like a completely different woman then the one that moved home last year. I feel stronger and more confident in who I am and while my life still isn’t perfect, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
I once heard someone say that ‘Courage is not the lack of fear, but the ability to face it’ and I have found this to be utterly true. I am still afraid sometimes, whether it is conscious or not, but yet I continue to move forward regardless of how I feel. So while it is not always easy to live life courageously, it is really the only way for people who are attempting to better themselves, for people who no longer want to be stuck in patterns of thoughts and actions that are detrimental to their happiness. I have found that stepping out of my comfort zone and attempting to live a life of courage has been one of the most important decisions I have made in my life. And I have found that my sobriety and overall well-being have benefited.
So if you have some fear that is keeping you stuck. If there is something in your life that you’d like to overcome, but you just can’t seem to move past it. Find the courage in yourself to take that first step, regardless of what your mind is telling you. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable and I think you will be amazed at what you find.
Rose Lockinger is a passionate member of the recovery community. A rebel who found her cause, she uses blogging and social media to raise the awareness about the disease of addiction. She has visited all over North and South America. Single mom to two beautiful children she has learned parenting is without a doubt the most rewarding job in the world. Currently the Outreach Director at Stodzy Internet Marketing.