So I’m doing some outpatient treatment and my assignment was to write a letter to myself and to tell myself why I wanted to quit using drugs. Here’s the shit that my heart had to tell my monster.
I don’t wanna use anymore because I like the me I have now and would like the opportunity to be a part of his life and watch him grow. To see his dreams come to pass, and watch him reach his full potential and thrive. You know the potential he has. The kind you have been too much of a pussy to let him pursue. Afraid he might fail and make you look bad maybe? Or wait,is it because you’re scared he might succeed and figure out you been fucking him all along, hiding your fear and anxiety and fear of the unknown behind what you call his drug addiction! So you can sit on your little throne continuing to control and manipulate him into believing that he probably can’t do it and why even try and that he’s not much of a social person anyway! That after all, he gets depressed,must be mental illness. So you give him medications so you can make sure that he never gets out!
Well self, Fuck-You!
There’s a new sheriff in town and he’s not buying your bullshit anymore! He’s not on drugs and he’s going to pursue every fucking thing you told him he can’t do, and you know what? He’s gonna succeed,and he’s gonna grow into a healthy, successful, productive member of this society whether you like it or not! Then he’s gonna drag your punk ass by the back of the hair all around town and tell people the fucking lies you have been telling him for the past 21 years! Then once everyone knows that their real problem isn’t drugs or alcohol,but the lying punk ass self inside them. We’re all gonna rip ourselves out of us, burn your punk asses at the stake and finally be able to live life free and fulfill our dreams!
I’M IN CHARGE NOW!!!!!