By: Marc McMahon
Can you believe I have been off of drugs for 16 months now, WoW! I mean who would have thought that 488 days ago I would decide to completely change my life and quit doing dope. Who would have thought that I would finally wake up and slap my self in the face and make a much-needed change? That I would one day wake up and decide I deserved to enjoy my life as much as anyone else and begin to taste life’s goodness.
I cannot remember what was the driving factor behind me getting clean this time all I know is that one day in April of 2017 I said to myself aloud you are done being a drug addict if I have to kill you to stop you I will I told myself, and I meant it. I had tried before and was not afraid to try again. I was so sick of myself and my miserable life that if I couldn’t quit doing drugs I was going to quit doing life. But thank God and I mean that literally, thank God that I was able to quit and enjoy some of life’s goodness.
You do realize that even on our worse days life is still good? Look how it used to be when you used! I mean if you can even call that a life or living. Sleeping behind dumpsters or in feces-laden alleys, or if you were lucky a bed bug infested bunk at an inner city shelter. Now that was sure luxurious, and here when I was at the shelter and had my own bed nightly I used to think I had arrived. That I was actually living because I had a place to sleep now after a hard day of doing what drug addicts do.
What a twisted sense of reality I used to have, it is so different sober. The way I think is different, the way I act and talk is different, and the words that come out of my mouth today are so very different. Do you realize until this summer I had not done my favorite activity (Camping) in 21 years! I mean it does not even sound possible but it is true.
But this year has been so different, this year I am having the best summer of my adult life. For instance not only have I been camping this year but in two weeks I am going camping four my fourth time this summer. Yep, I went 21 years not doing what I love to do most to doing it every month this past four months. Finally, I am starting to live. Finally, I am starting to taste life’s goodness. Thank God that finally, it seems I have given myself permission via my recovery to start to taste lives goodness again.
You know that is a good thought, I gave myself permission to live life again, to allow myself to taste some of life’s goodness. Because by using drugs that is kind of what we are doing. It is like saying to ourselves no you do not deserve to ever be happy again. I like the opportunities that recovery has to offer me. I mean if you think about them they are endless. Recovery to me is an open invitation to be not only all I can be but also all I want to be as well. We, sober, actually have the literal opportunity to become all we have ever wanted too.
Think about it we are being given a second chance on life. That is a huge gift friend. You know people can feel sorry for us that we had experienced our addiction but by being given this gift of a do-over at life it doesn’t seem so bad. Today it seems I have been given permission by the universe to be happy again and I must say, my friends, this fantastic feeling is available to all who choose to have it. With that my friend’s let’s go out and conquer our fears today. Together we can because together with much love we can change the world if even for just a moment. Stay blessed my friends and I love you.
About The Author: Marc is a 49-year-old Author, Speaker, and Soldier in a war to loosen the grasp that Substance Abuse has on our society. He is a Father, Son, and friend to all those seeking refuge from this incorrigible disease. Marc resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest where he enjoys, writing, hiking, and kicking the disease of addiction in the teeth, every chance he gets. As Marc always likes to say, “be blessed, my friends!”