By: Marc McMahon
Do you wanna hear something really cool? When I walk by a bike locked at a bike rack today my eyes no longer immediately scan the lock that is being used to secure it to see what type of quality it is so my criminal thinking can determine how long it may take to free it. Gosh, it is so nice to think normal again or normal-ish. I just cannot get over how delusional our thinking gets while we are using. How we live in an altered state of reality only requiring two things to survive. Drugs and more drugs. A dangerously disgusting and diabolical place to be but one that was my home for oh so many years.
The thing about it is when you are there you don’t realize you’re not living in reality. Quite the opposite, the drugs almost lie and lead us to believe everyone else is screwed up and not us. It is so twisted, confusing, and scary and I am damn glad I don’t have to live there anymore! Thank you my Jesus for giving me all I needed to escape the devil’s grasp. I just cannot thank him enough because Satan had me in his grasp and God literally had to come down to hell pry his fingers off of me and say not today, not this one this one is mine. And he took me away and dropped me off here in the land of recovery with a new and improved heart wanting to share all that has been done for me. To share His love so to speak :).
It is the least I can do right, I mean would you not feel possibly compelled to share the goodness of life with others if you were given a second chance? Anyways in other news in case you did not know “Recovery Kicks Ass” I have to tell you that the mending that recovery is doing for my broken family relationships is just truly amazing. I mean the relationship I have with my mother right now is probably better than I think it has ever been as an adult. I mean that to mom!! The best in all my adulthood and I owe it all to my God, my Recovery, and most of all, my Mom for never giving up on me when she had more than enough reason to disown me for life and I say that seriously!
I was putrid in my addiction you all. As bad as they get just ask my mom or my family I was completely consumed by it and nothing and no-one else mattered not even my mom. But today thanks to my recovery that is the complete and total opposite. Today my Mom is and I’m not sure I ever would hear these words come out of my mouth but my Mom is my hero today!!! I am not kissing ass either she has that spot for eternity and no one or nothing will ever be able to change that, I love you mom!!
I do not think sometimes us addicts in recovery give our moms nearly enough credit, at least not early on when they most deserve it. I know from experience that even in recovery I can get lost in looking for answers to why I turned out the way I did. And often times we look to our childhood for errors our parents may or may not have made that caused us to be the addicts we were. I know I did even till just recently until this line of thinking came to me. I mean we or I look for fault in the parent but we never consider maybe the hand that their parents left them with. I mean we or I tend to look for answers and comes with blame. But we never look compassionately back at how our parents were raised because maybe it was not all that great either.
And not to make excuses at all for crappy parenting but maybe we need to cut our folks a little slack sometimes and just figure they did the best they could at the time with the hand they were left with. I mean if our parents were not raised properly or were abused how can we expect them to know how to love properly if that makes sense you all what I am trying to explain. I just think sometimes we need to overlook a little of the b.s. from the past and simply love for the future because one day death Will do us part and nobody deserves to die not feeling loved you all as hard as that may be.
I just want to end with a very Special I love You to Everybody’s Mom today
ESPECIALLY MINE 🙂
About The Author: Marc is a 49-year-old Author, Speaker, and Soldier in a war to loosen the grasp that Substance Abuse has on our society. He is a Father, Son, and friend to all those seeking refuge from this incorrigible disease. Marc resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest where he enjoys, writing, hiking, and kicking the disease of addiction in the teeth, every chance he gets. As Marc always likes to say, “be blessed, my friends!”